I can not believe that I am a week from the "home stretch." I am not ready for this! I can't barely be the mom of two, what about three? And I am still trying to bond with this guy inside of me. My hormones are still crazy and so I am still sort of wigging that it is a boy and not a girl (please, understand. If I had news it was a girl, I am pretty much certain I would feel this same way!). He does not have a name. I might have a c-section just so I can stay in the hospital for four days to think of a freaking name (that I like right now). There are so many things to do and think of before he comes. You should see my list. My house and my life have been an unorganized mess, which wreaks chaos and havoc inside me, so I am going to make it right before the next train of chaos hits. Me vs. two small kids and a newborn who I am sure will be attached to me for months (if he is anything like Sydney; I am not sure I am ready of a year of someone else owning my body again, either). Ethan will help as much as he gets into trouble, I am hoping. Sydney. She is unpredictable, but I am guessing she is going to be the annoying sibling who runs in during nap time and wakes the kid up. Just a guess.
Okay so I am just freaking out a little. I do that a lot lately! Yoga anyone?
I did have another little segment to this post. My husband is not going to appreciate this, if he takes it the wrong way, which he usually does, so I am just hoping he either a) does not read this entry or b) takes it the right way :)
A few weeks ago, I was dying to make caramels. My mom says that 'O' blood people are meat eaters yada yada yada. Not this girl. I mean don't get me wrong. I do love a great Ruby River steak. JCW's hamburger. My pot roast. I think about the last one a little too often. But I would rather eat something sweet ANY day of the year over something savory. So I have been dying to make sugar cookies (really good, homemade, no corners cut with real butter cream frosting, no substitutions!), Molasses cookies (or as normal people call them, gingersnaps), caramels. And maybe try toffee for a first. But I was really putting off making it, because I was just feeling like it was mean. Its not like I should be eating it, I know I should not. I just have a little bit of a cushion right now, I can eat a little bad and really not "pay" for it. But I was thinking I would not sabotage my husband and his great efforts at weighing less than 200 lbs. Then he told me I should go ahead and make it- it would not affect him.
I did. What was I thinking? Well, it is not exactly my fault. We have just been around a lot of not healthy-living friendly food. But I did contribute. Anyone who watches the Biggest Loser might relate to this- I just feel like its not time to have the "real world" around yet. So, with all the holiday food around (and the worse this week, I am sure, since its more parties to come!), I have decided something. I am just going to get rid of it. We received lots of candy from my grandma. It is going with us to our parties this week. I made caramel. It is going where it was supposed to (some neighbors) and what I have left, to the parties. I am going to healthify my pantry and fridge. This is for me too, because really I lack self control. I just was blessed with a much more forgiving metabolism and a pregnant body, at the moment. I have a few months to drink V8 for snacks and eat healthier so as to not gain more than the 25 lbs I allow myself... but I think our house is not ready to be a war zone (not that I really want it to be anyway). So rather than promote failure, you know, wave a vintage red wine, opened, in front of a recovering alcoholic, I am going to do us all a favor and try to clean out the kitchen (and my closet, haha, since I have some hidden stashes there too). I am sure people think its weird to make everyone in the house eat one way, but why should I have regular sour cream and fat free? Shouldn't it just all be fat free? Same with chips. I don't buy regular chips. The only chips I buy (unless its for someone else or they get left here) are baked. I have my nachos (frequent for me these days) on baked Scoops. They are perfectly delicious. We eat a lot of egg whites. I don't really allow my kids to have much juice or soda, just as a treat (we do have juice, just not very often; soda is much more infrequent, but not as harsh as "don't allow" sounds!). We are ice cream freaks. Okay, I am. I like to make cookies. I don't do it very often (and try to give most away to neighbors). We have great desserts here, though I do try to alter the ingredients to gain more dessert for the points. I make a REALLY yummy spinach artichoke dip, and I would bet that no one knows I use fat free cream cheese and mayo--never mind that there are three other cheeses in it... but every little bit helps, right? All I am saying is that I slipped up and assisted in creating a less friendly environment, and while I am not going to start showing ads out of my kitchen for Jennie-O Turkey, Jell-o, Subway, and Extra gum, I am going to get back to (or make it more like) a Biggest Loser kitchen as opposed to that elimination room with all the fridges full of the temptation food. In May, I will post a success story, full of photos from the long journey, and though it will not be mine and I will probably feel like a cow then, at least Jody will feel good :)
(I eat way more nursing than I do pregnant and I don't get rid of weight very fast either. I may not gain a lot, but it sticks with me for a while).
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2008
