Well, let's hope it is not midlife... lol. Then I will be living till I am 66. At any rate, I am having issues. I mean yeah, normal ups and downs, and along with pregnancy comes crazy hormones and feelings etc. But I am really kind of bored with my life right now. I wanted four kids, and now that I am pregnant with the 4th (14 wks yesterday), I am feeling a little Eat Pray Love action and wanting to run off and be a kid again. I love my kids. I really do. I am going through a phase, I guess, where I am sick of being the one in charge, the one who has to make and enforce rules, someone who has to bug people 796 times a day to do things.
I am in the mood for a really big change, like a big, cross country move, or something. International, even. LOL. What other big change can I make?? I mean rearranging my furniture is not going to cut it. I can not get a job, and there are a few very good reasons why I should not, right now, anyway.
I am unwilling to cut my hair, as I have figured out the last few months by chopping Sydney's (I hate it).
I know I should do what I can to make the most of everything now, count my blessings. I have a great life. I really do. I have loads of freedom, even if I feel tied down. I do not have to answer to a boss everyday (ugh I do not miss working one little bit, even if I had been lucky with my last few jobs). I can make and eat whatever I want. If I want to go swimming, or lay around, we can do that. We can go to Grandma's in St G any time. We can go play.
I realize I should not complain and that I really do have it good. I guess maybe that is why I am having such a hard time with this itch. I know I should be happy, even if that does not change how I feel. So it makes me feel even worse. Awesome!
It is even more ridiculous, I sit and write this from my deck, on my laptop, with an amazing view of the Salt Lake Valley. Nice, cool evening, crickets in the background. Why would I want to move away from this??
PS I did get rid of Bella, the lab. One of the best things I have done for myself. I think she is headed for San Diego, to be trained as a service dog, as the people who took her from me found her a little too much to handle as well. Phew, glad I am not crazy. I was feeling like it was just me.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Midlife Crisis
Posted by Heather at 9:56 PM
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1 comments:
It sounds like you need another hobby! lol.
We all go through the cycle of not being happy with our situation. We think that going on amazing trips or going out and spending a bunch of money will cure this; spending money doesn't cure anything. Working toward our goals and accomplishing them gives us satisfaction.
No matter how much your kids drive you crazy, I know of several people who would love to be able to have their own children. Doesn't mean your kids aren't hard work, but remember that they really are a miracle because not everyone gets this opportunity. And you definitely do reserve the right to let out your feelings when your kids are driving you insane.
Being happy within is way more important than anything. All of us have to work on that.
Find something that excites you and read about it, learn about it, dream about it.
Set goals and accomplish them.
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