This is a very touchy subject, and it can be a very personal one as well. I have struggled with this like crazy over the last ten years, and I feel very strongly about it, as well as family teamwork. I can not go into everything right now as time does not permit, but I wanted to repost a comment I made on Facebook.
A friend posted about how women of Y generation (whatever generation that is, I really don't know) are losing valuable skills, such as ironing, cooking, and sewing. I don't necessarily agree completely with that, at least with the people I call my peers. However, a few people's responses got me thinking and a tad fired up. Like I said, I feel very strongly about this. I am kind of a mix or traditional and forward thinking. Do I believe in home-cooked meals? Well yes, if time permits, if not, as long as kids are fed, then who cares? I personally like to cook, and I will not criticize a family who eats cereal every day for breakfast when I may make oatmeal, smoothies, whatever. Or even eggo waffles. LOL. Who cares?
Other stuff I do care about. Anyway, this is kind of in response to what others had said, so I am sorry I did not copy their responses, but here is mine:
I love to cook, I refuse to iron and I do not sew (though, I would like to, eventually). I think for me, I realize that a marriage is a partnership and I need not do every thing (nor should I have to) or maybe I would be better off just doing it all myself :)
I am sorry but, if my spouse needs a shirt ironed, he can do it himself. I have plenty of other things I am doing, if he is sitting and watching tv, then why is it my responsibility? If I am free and he is stressed out and busy, then sure, I might oblige, but it is not my "duty" and I feel absolutely no obligation. He did it till he was 30, why would it all of a sudden fall on me, just because we married? {just adding these thoughts now-- Visions of a man getting married-- now he has someone else to cook, clean up the pee he misses around the toilet, clean up the clothes he leaves out, etc someone to take care of the children he agrees to bring into the world, etc. Visions of a woman-- free, take care of herself, etc, then marries to gain all these new "duties" of taking on all these things from her new husband, washing all the laundry, be pregnant, have your body pretty much destroyed from butt to boobs to mind, care for and run ragged after however many kids are born, do everything for them from the time they are born till they leave home, keep house cleaned, including cleaning up after everyone all.day.long, plan and prepare, from scratch, three meals a day, etc. I am sorry, but if that is what marriage looks like, who wants that? I know I kind of painted a dramatic picture, but face it, a lot people live this life and wonder why they need antidepressants or are so unhappy.}
I am a stay at home mom and I firmly believe that household duties, etc are an equal thing. I do not sit on my butt and watch tv all day, and I*do* have a full time job-- chasing my three crazy kids all over, teaching them, cleaning up after them, driving them places, etc. Just wondering what time the SAHM(D) gets off? Oh yeah... never.
When a man comes home from work (or woman), they are now in the home phase of the day. Kids need caring for, dinner needs preparing, cleaning up after, etc. This is shared among every resident in the house. It is the responsibility of each and every person to make sure the house is cared for and cleaned up. It is mom and dad's job to teach everyone to clean up after themselves, etc and how can they do that when only one of the spouses does everything while the other is lazy and does nothing of value after 6 pm?
I have very firm beliefs that it is not mom's job to do everything except earn the main income and maybe mow the lawn. If the duties were a little less lopsided, more women would be interested in marrying, more women may stay at home as opposed to working, and there would be way more happy homes. I would say this is my opinion, but I don't really think it is an opinion :)
** I am amending what I said about ironing. I ***hate*** it. SO.MUCH. But, I realize as my poor children go to church with wrinkly shirts, I should probably start ironing their shirts, lol, its kind of embarrassing for us all. So I prob will, but I hardly ever break out the ironing board and iron. I simply do not wear things that require it, cause I hate it so much.
